I had the know it all syndrome

I always got into arguments that had absolutely no purpose. An argument, simply for the sake of arguing. Picking sides in a battle because I had to be right. Stubborn to step back and too determined to prove to myself and everyone around me that I was right. 

‘Unwilling to humble myself.’

Everyone has his or her own story where someone’s words taught them a lesson or two, whether it be ‘big’ or ‘small’. This is one such story of mine, on how it changed my outlook on life, self-portrayal, and my personality. 

It was in 2015, when my brother invited me and my bestfriend over to his place for dinner. After dinner we were all talks, one conversation led to the other. That night in a room of Five people, a small but important shift was made when my brother uttered the following words to me, on all honesty he said “Rokono you’re smart and have good qualities but you have an attitude that irks people, the I-know-it-all and I-am-always right attitude and that makes it hard for people to understand and care for you.”

It was in that very moment that I grew. As if I had hit a psychological growth spurt. As I sat there dumbfounded, caught in this real life freeze-frame of time, when I was always the one, arrogant and recklessly oblivious of the futility of it all.

For the first time in my life those words did not ricochet. 

Why? The bitter truth no one dared to tell me. Was I always on ‘Praise Pills’ ?

Intuitively, I knew the message he was trying to deliver was true and that it came from a place of love. ‘Truth’ the one hard pill to swallow and also to face my truth head-on. I absolutely hated that moment, it made me realise how patronising I have been all along and honestly quite often still am. I also realised that there was no sense in being right if all it meant was feeling wrong.

Perhaps, it was his words that taught me how to swallow my pride, take a step back and that having a immovable rock attitude is unpleasant. 

The power of someone’s words cannot be overstated, they can infect your subconscious in a way that brings real changes. Words taken right – they can make you more intelligent and more self aware. Another tough lesson in this game of life, but one we would all be well severed to learn. 

To, my brother Pelevizo Sechii, I am forever grateful, blessed and a better person because of you. Still growing, everyday better than yesterday. Thank you for this lesson and for being the inspiration behind this read. 

.

-Rokovono Paphino

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