(Anonymous/ identity withheld)
I’ve been pretending that it was all a dream… but reality strikes me every now and then.
A little girl loved her mama and her father, only 8 years old.
knew not it was right or wrong,
so she kept shut like she was asked to do..because she was a good little girl.
abused yes that’s my reality..
but till date I still don’t feel like it happened to me.
feel like it was a nightmare that I can never wake up from.
like I’m just an audience, staring at a helpless 8 year old self.
Alcohol altered mind, despite his doings I had love for him, until I was old enough to realize that he destroyed me.
Funny though, I still cried when he left this world, out of relief or out of grief that remains a confusion to me.
I wanted to tell another soul, but I couldn’t trust anyone enough to let it out. I love my mother but she failed to see this darkness in me.
As I grew older, I became worst as it haunted me. I’ve tried to develop the ability to forget, but the human brain oh! its messes with me.
that sacred love that you would one day share with the love of your life, a white wedding they call it.
that was taken away from me.
It made things worst when i indulged in it myself only because I thought it was going to help me erase and replace the bad memories.
Even though it was wrong the devil made it feel right..
I prayed that God forgives and pardons his soul.
I know I’m not the only one, there are many silent souls out there. Prayer and Forgiveness yes thats what gets you by. I have written this for a reason to change a life, to help another overcome their darkness. Forgive more in life.